Guilty Book Pleasures

As the summer of 1993 was winding down i found myself in the Waldorf Mall’s Walden books. I had decided that i was going to read something that was not written by Margret Weis or Tracey Hickman for the first time in what felt like forever. There I was 14 bored with 100% expendable income looking at the names of the books in all of their oddly designed glory and managing to skip all of the  millions of Xanth novels to find the book pictured to the left.

When I pulled the book off the shelf two things jumped out at me. 1) Holy shit that is an awesome name! and 2) hey isn’t that the art from the  Molly Hatchet albums? So since those two things where enough for any person to buy a book I didn’t even notice that it was book 3 of a series (i was a dumb 14). I remember very well jumping into it and tearing through the first few chapters. It was a very cool thing to me at the time, there was all sorts of adult themes in the first few chapters that I had never been able to read in books before. Sure the Dragonlance books had sex scenes in them but there where implied not straight up written out. There was also a great amount of drug use and a level of violence that I had only seen in movies Dad let me watch. I kept reading this book every night until the night before my first day of high school. I remember that night very well as the end of the book neared Shannon Hoon came over the radio telling me his life was pretty plain. There was something peaceful about that night.

I went back to Walden’s and bought the other three books int her series and devoured them in only the way a 14 year old geek could. There where adult and they where awesome.I also started to read abut the man who had paitned the covers and who the Death Dealer belonged Frank Frazetta. I tired to find posters of his so i could have them on my wall (as i did not have a van to air brush them onto) but never could find one.

Fast forward about 15 years and decided to re read them as an adult who had seen much more that the world had to offer. Guess what…those books i thought where awesome? yeah no so much. The writing was perfect for a kid who had not seen much and thought that there had to be some sort of soul selling needed to get a smile out of a girl much less get laid. Still, thinking back about reading those books as a kid I still feel the jungle that the Death Dealer was running around in. I remember with great want the weapons that the hero had and how awesome it would be to live that fantasy life. I won’t take those memories away from younger me. I have no doubts that everyone who likes to read has a similar story.  If anyone out there in internetlandia has a book like this please share with the rest of us geeks.

July 4th

I love being an American. If i wanted to i could get in my car and drive from Maryland to California with out ever having to show some one my papers. If i dislike what my government is doing i can start a protest,send a letter to my congressman, or just vent my spleen online and there are no people who will send me to room 101 to make me disappear. Being an American means that I am free.

I know that the country that I love is far from perfect. We still have a problem with racial tensions. We as a country are still coming to grips with the fact that not all people have the same rights. There are grown adults in love that do not have the right to marry. That means that just because they are the same sex they do not have the right to protect their loved ones with the weight of law that comes with marriage. One of the biggest problems we face is that in a secular country the different religions that we as the citizens believe in clash with each other and the people that don’t have a religions. With so many different thoughts on right and wrong they clash and with that clash we have hate being spewed back and forth at each other that our respective gods would be ashamed of.

Even with all of the strife that we have in this beloved country I would not live anywhere else. Our ancestors that started the revolution that gave us this country wanted their voices heard so that they might live freely with out a Tyrant to rule them. They had to fight off a King and his troops. They had to risk their lives, their homes, and their freedom just so they might live as free men. The legacy that they leave behind for us is that we have freedom that many in other countries could only dream for. I ask you all as you go about your day today with friends and family before this day is over take a minute and be grateful for those freedoms. Say a thank you to the soldiers who fight for our continued freedoms. Enjoy your freedoms and always let your voice be heard.

Our Voice Is All We Ever Have

When I was in High School I had to read this book during one summer. Like most kids i didn’t want to read anything that did not have Jim Lee’s signature in the bottom right hand corner. I started reading it just to get it done and found myself completely gripped by the story. That book made me think a bit differently at the world. Fast forward to yesterday when i read a story about Harper Lee. In the body of that story I was shocked to find out that it is one of the most challenged books in the public Library system.

When I started pouring over the list of book I was shocked at who and what was on there. On that list where some of the most important books in my life. The books there opened my mind to new ideas and thoughts. There where books on there that when it comes to literature I hold them almost as sacred texts

1984 The first time i read this book i had no clue what i had just gotten myself into. It was the first book i read where love could no win the day. I vowed to myself after reading this book that no matter what it could cost me i would rather give up myself than the people that i loved. Its an odd thought at17 that there are things that you would be willing to give up yourself to protect.

The reason its challenged so often? It has communist overtones. Let me get this straight, the horrible world that was created was well in a word….horrible. People equate that horrid life as Communist and want to ban it…because it makes the thing they dislike look bad.

The Call of the Wild: I read this book in the third grade. It was several grades above my level to be able to read. My teacher put me in a better reading group because i was reading it on my own. I am pretty sure that this was my first experience with a book that pretty much said “The world is harsh. Good people die and you will have to do some hard things if you want to live in it”

Why is this one challenged? Well simple put because it is about dogs people think its a kids book. Ok sure i can get that. There is just one little thing. If you are going to let you child go to the library…don’t you talk about/monitor what they check out? Why try to take a book away from everyone you don’t want your snowflake to read? If you don’t want them to read it um try not letting them check it out. If you want your kid repressed that’s your business stay away from my freedoms.

Fahrenheit 451. This is not just a book for me but a warning. This is what we can look forward to if we let people start taking books away because they find them offensive. Which ever teacher had this on my summer reading list thank you. This is one of those books that can change they whole way you think about your world. I think more than any other book this one has impacted my life.

Why or why is this book challenged so much? For all the same reasons that make this book great. People find the language used to be offensive so they want to make the book go away or (even worse to me) redact the offensive words. They want to stop the words from being read. This makes me so mad as to have a hard time even writing that all out.

When it comes down to why people want books out of our public places of knowledge we find that it is ignorance. We all fear the things that we don’t know and want them gone. I understand that thoughts that are different from your can be scary things. Its when we hide them from public view that have sinned to the point as to be near unforgivable. If anyone reading this thinks that an idea is so strong that it scares you don’t try to make it go away to room 101 face it and learn.

As always thanks for your time folks.

Zombies! Part 1

There is a certain amount of fear of death in all of us. No where is this so certain than in the genre of Zombies. Personally i have a big place in my heart for Zombie movies and all the things that go with it. From books to games the whole world of the Zombie fascinates me. In the first part of my talk about Zombies we will talk about how they are made, the type of zombies there are, and the fears they represent.

Zombie Creation

In the very first of the Romero Zombies (more on that category later) the dead start to rise due to a comet and space dust (damn you space dust you have doomed us all!) This idea was also picked up in Gangs of the Dead but this time the thing hit in LA and not just orbited the world. I find that this is one of the more abstract way that Zombies come about. It is the Dues Ex Machina of the Zombie world and it doesn’t ask you to care if it makes any sense.

The next an most popular way that the Zombies rise and eat our tasty flesh is the tired and true (and some would say too close to real) Virus/doctors with questionable ethics event. This concept of Zombie creation has had a big rise in popularity in the last ten years and most visible with 28 Days Later and its sequel. While these two movies are very well done with concept and execution of said concept no conversation about the creation of Zombies by virus of we do not talk about Resident Evil.

Before Resident Evil and all of its squeals came out (both games and movies) the main world of the Zombie was run by Romero and the D&D Necromancer. Once we where told of Umbrella and the T-Virus the game of Zombies was changed forever and also gave birth to the explosion of Zombies in modern culture.

The last common way that zombies come to life is the way of Magic. This comes in many forms and is the way that the myth/legend of the zombie comes to the real world.  Be this truth or fancy the puffer fish is the basis for real world zombification with its tetrodotoxin. They say that a powder made with this chemical will make a person mindless much like the Zombie. In the fantasy world a necromancer with the right ritual can bring the dead back as mindless zombies to do their bidding. Really what D&D player hasn’t killed tons of these as a matter of course in any game?

Types of Zombies

There are really only two types of Zombies in the world of the risen dead. There is the classic shambling zombie that is the gestalt for most people when you say the word Zombie. There is also the new comer to the world of brain eaters in the fast Zombie. The internet is rife with arguments that fast Zombies really aren’t true zombie but for the sake of this conversation we will include them.

The slow zombie is a classic horror icon. You are stuck in a farm house in the middle of nowhere surrounded by a horde of slow moving dead people who aren’t very strong but can kill you easily if enough of them grab you.  The slow zombie has a power that can only be explained as a mental one. When that zombie starts walking to you for your succulent flesh you can’t reconcile that the zombie used to be your beloved Aunt Nora and now she is about to kill you horrible.  That slow steady walk to you filling you so full of fear that you can’t move. This of course (by the end of the movie or as soon as it starts if you are the lead) can be overcome and then its just a game of aim for the head and don’t let them box you in.

The fast Zombie is another creature all together. They run. Think about it the Slow Zombie was all your fears of death in front of you but at least it was easy to escape. Now you have this faster than you beast on your tail and it is going to catch and eat you. It is stronger than you and you haven’t run a 100 yard dash since 12th grade. The fast zombie doesn’t just represent death it is a death that you cannot even stave off. You are just a pre-zombie at that point. The fear that the fast zombie invokes is not just our collective fear of death but also our primal fear of being prey.

Why do we like our super Heroes?

There are many different comic heroes and any comic fan will tell you with a certain fervor why their one they like most is best (not to mention how their hero could kick your hero’s ass). I think there is something deeper to why people pick the heroes that they do. There is something in that character that resonates deeply with them.

My favorite super hero is Green Arrow. If what i think is right this says a whoooooole lot about me. Green Arrow is the social heart of the DCU, the super liberal, the most flawed good guy out there. I have always liked his comics because they where the first ones that i read that had substance. GA has never had a big gallery of baddies after him like bats or The Flash, his biggest source of angst has always been himself.  I think that is why i have always liked him. We all can screw up (good lord knows i have) and GA screws up more than most.When Mike Grell was writing the stories for the Green Arrow comic he changed how people look at a comic. He brought true story telling to comics with the grit of what the real world holds and brought that to us and made us think.

GA’s biggest weakness was of course women. I think this flaw of his more than any other is why i like him so much. His trouble with relationships and women in general has been such a big story that you can tie him to most of the women in the DCU. Me? yeah i have had a troubled relationship or two that has screwed with my head. Lets just leave it at that shall we?

Maybe its none of these things. Maybe the reason that i like him so much is the fact that I can do the same thing he does.  I can shoot a bow and hit the target. Ok so i can shoot a boxing glove arrow and knock our a bad guy but I can do the basic thing he does. Maybe its the fact that its not that far out the of realm of possibility  that i could be a hero.

I don’t know if what i think about why we pick who we claim as our hero is true or just the ramblings of a comic addled mind but it feels right. So ask yourself why you like who you do. If your hero is Batman maybe you identify with his intense drive and try to have that in your life, or you have an over developed sense of revenge. If your guy is Superman is it that you feel like an Alien even though you look like everyone else? Could it be that your love of Lobo makes you an asshole? I don’t know but maybe you do.

Did you know spelling is hard?

So for most of my life i have always been a good student or at the very least could BS my way though a test. My teachers where always happy with my grades and what not. The one thing that i could never do well? Spell. Oh i could memorize words and i could regurgitate them back on Fridays spelling test but writing a report? Hell no. My teachers always said i was just lazy when it came to spelling.

Well until i was 21 and a college professor told me he loved my stories but my spelling was the death of him. He asked me if i had ever been tested for Dyslexia. Turns out i am not lazy my brain just sucks.  You may be asking yourself two things. 1) why the bloody hell am i reading this jerks blog and 2) why is he telling me this? Well gentle reader. I bloody know my spelling sucks please there is no need to point it out.

Now let the geekery begin.